CHEESE: Christmas Has Everything Everyone's Super Excited; A Holiday Letter/Post

This year is one of many long awaited coming of age milestones every young adult must experience: the first Christmas without mom and dad. It's fortunate that I don't have to spend the day away from home or away from family, but I'm sure a little homesickness will come my way thinking about my brothers looking like homeless frat boys when they get to grandma's, the grandparents' dog fleeing mine upon arrival, and my parents sarcastically kissing under the plastic and glittered holly strategically placed in the same doorway by my grandma every year despite her PDA complaints. I'm sure I'll get the same food coma and poorly sung carol renditions, because Hungarians and exchange students do holidays right, still. Passing out with a food baby is different here. Everyone is just nice to you and lets you digest, instead of sitting on you because you're taking up the entire couch and trading weight related insults with you while eating even more cookies.

Instead of my deadbeat brothers, TEPO (The Ever Patient One) and GOV (Giver of Volleyball), I've traded up this year to my wonderful host parents Eva and Tamas, and kick-butt host siblings Blanka and Abel. They're beautiful people. Eva teaches at my school. The looks on my friends' faces when a teacher came up to talk to me on the first week of school was priceless. Especially after she gave me chocolate croissants. Tamas, Blanka, and Abel all spend most of their time in Budapest going to school and jobs and all that responsible type stuff. In Debrecen, where we live, it rains a lot. It's about the size of Champaign-Urbana? So not that different. Hungarian, well it doesn't really have attributes that I know how to explain in real non-onomatopoeiatic words , so I don't know how it's going. I guess I speak a little bit, but as soon as anyone asks me how much I speak I completely forget that there are sentences other than "Bocsanot, nagyon nagyon bocsanot, nem beszelek magyarol. Cserediak vagyok."

Next year I'll be back to my usual hijinks though, so if the fridge has been a little too full and the house has been a little too quiet, don't fret (cough cough mom and dad cough). So far my plan upon return is to make some major bank (or minor bank. any salary is good salary) working volleyball camps and maybe coaching a bit. I hope to bring volleyball with me to University too, though I'm too injured to play, by coaching a club team or reffing a rec league. In the fall, I'll head off to some Illinois University to double major in Theater Studies and Human Development and Psychological Services or Social Policy. Yes, the rumors are true, I am the next Doogie Howser. But serioiusly, don't worry Grandma, the market for past-their-prime-narrowly-missed-the-window-to-be-a-child-prodigy-sarcastic-theater-tech-girls-looking-to-change-the-face-of-comedy is huge. Actually, that sentence doesn't even have to be that sarcastic. Now is the time for more Tina Fey's, Laverne Cox's, Amy Poehler's, and Whoopi Goldberg's to come out of the woodwork. I want to double major so that I can help fill the void of equally valued authoritative female figures in the entertainment industry and pursue another venue of life improvement for communities spreading improved information and health education. Other than that, I guess my main goal for college would be to avoid getting an infection from communal showers or to befriend the person on my floor who knows how to use the lounge microwave?

Closing out this "letter" I want to apologize for the lack of a schtick (I know, dad always has one) and any misspelled words. If I thought playing dad in Scrabble was hard before, I can't imagine what it will be like now. My deteriorating English is also the reason for this bang-up ending. As I get more and more tired due to my irresponsible sleeping habits over school break, I do not have the eloquent speech needed for a beautiful, touching conclusion.

I can't give you guys presents right now, because shipping is a lot and I don't know how customs works, but. Mom, if I could I would give you the world and a new Prius to drive around it. I fully plan to as soon as I figure out how to wrap a planet and put a bow on it. I love you so much. Dad, first of all note the acronyms for you and mom--kind of an homage to the DCL--what what. If I could I would run around the house in pigtails being a power ranger princess, or whatever weird junk I concocted in pre-school. I can't, because I have some semblance of dignity, but if you can hold out until I'm 25 I can probably manage a tackle yelling "I'm 5x5 5x5 5x5" I love you so much. Erick, I will not give you anything because you wrap my presents in Walmart bags and eat all the poptarts. However, I will give you the empty and obvious promise of Netflix marathoning and a hug you don't want to give me. I love you so much (you fatty <3 ) Mike, you don't get on the internet right? You're like, seven. Right? I'm gonna give you all the unwanted sister advice that you never asked for. And hair gel lessons. And realistically a soccer jersey because tradition is tradition. And, I love you so much.

Grandma I'm going to make you proud we share a middle name, and find a new fancy Hungarian outfit for your goose. Grandpa, we're going to watch NCIS until Grandma accepts her fate and I will even bring my own barbecue kettle chips. I love you both so, so much. 
  To all my friends working their way through University, maybe thinking I'll bring you back chocolate: sorry. I will realistically probably eat it in the airport before it gets to you.

But, I love you all, so much.