I love lists. I love them so much, I don't think I could function without them.
I have a lot going on in my life right now with college decisions, and travel plans, and making employment connections. All of this is happening in my American life though, which feels like a weird parallel universe right now. So, so as not to forget all the important emails, dates, and degree options, I've taken to making lists.
Before I came to Hungary I had a list of what I needed to pack, categorized by purpose or season. Then, I took a list with me to the airport lining up gates, documents, and which other students I would meet there. I mean, I live kind of a charmed life, so now I mostly make lists of words (sidenote: which by the way are very long since moving to a Hungarian class)
Now that my departure date is closer (sidenote: literally three months until I'm on US soil. That is so surreal) I have these huge theoretical lists for what I can/have to do this summer, which extracurricular stuff at ISU I can fit together, and how many/what combinations of teacher certification I can reasonably get in four years. Mom and I even have a spreadsheet. Like, how cool is that that my mother will share a google doc with me to help organize my life and not even bat an eye.
So yeah, I think I might be a little too obsessive or over-exuberant, but I am just so excited about how open the next year is. I can't wait to get back to being over-scheduled and stretched thin trying to stay involved in everything I'm passionate about. It's going to be my next great adventure.
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Cake Pop: Class Switching
So, I switched classes at the beginning of this week. Instead of being in an all English Inter-Baccalaureate class all of the time, I split my hours between IB and a normal Hungarian class. Now my schedule is mostly Biology and Chemistry--I higher level in Biology for IB and the Hungarian class I'm in Higher levels in Biology and Chemistry. If these next few months can't make me into a science genius, I don't know what can.
My Hungarian class is my host mom Eva's form class, so they know of me and I know of them and I get to be around Eva. It's so nice. Everyone is so nice. I am so happy.
Of course, it's kind of like being thrown into a lake with minimal knowledge of how swimming works and being told to learn. Going from speaking English all day to depending on Hungarian to make friends was more shocking than it should have been; Monday I kind of froze and couldn't get a sentence out. But today was much better (at least I think so )
Long (okay, two day) story short:
I have never been so thoroughly exhausted in my life,but being exhausted has never been so thoroughly rewarding or enjoyable.
My Hungarian class is my host mom Eva's form class, so they know of me and I know of them and I get to be around Eva. It's so nice. Everyone is so nice. I am so happy.
Of course, it's kind of like being thrown into a lake with minimal knowledge of how swimming works and being told to learn. Going from speaking English all day to depending on Hungarian to make friends was more shocking than it should have been; Monday I kind of froze and couldn't get a sentence out. But today was much better (at least I think so )
Long (okay, two day) story short:
I have never been so thoroughly exhausted in my life,but being exhausted has never been so thoroughly rewarding or enjoyable.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Chicken Soup for the Soul, and the Flu
The best part of exchange is sharing everything you have to give. Sharing a hug when you know your best friends are touch starved from the lack of physical affection in Hungarian culture. Sharing money when it's been a late night and your friend needs a train ticket home because you know it'll come back to you the next time you're short a few hundred forints. Perhaps most of all though, is sharing germs. It's true; what better to give to a loved one than snot, fever, and an incapacitatingly aggravated digestive tract?
Being sick is sucky in it's own right, and I don't want to make it seem like exchange students have the hardest lives in the world and everything is ten times worse for us because we're kind of super privileged, but it is a little worse to be sick when you're not around the people who usually take care of you. It was worse to be sick in the beginning--at least for me--because I wasn't accustomed to anything about my new life. Also I'm fairly sure my illness was mostly, if not entirely, homesickness. All I wanted was a Lord of the Rings marathon, some saltines, and some ginger ale. What I ended up with was TLC, vanilla biscuits, and Neo Citran (sidenote: Neo Citran is a "tea" comprised almost entirely of citrus flavored sugar which "cures" you with a sugar rush). After being sick a couple times here, I still miss ginger ale and puppy snuggles, but I think I'm going to miss my heating pad and fruit tea even more when I go back to the US.
Each time I'm bedridden, the second day is hardest. I have the usual cabin fever and boredom, but even worse is the constant struggle not to Skype my family. Not that Skyping your family is bad! There are just a few things to consider first in a sickly situation. First of all, it's probably like, 2 AM when you're trying to call them, so look at the time difference before you try. Secondly, and this may just be my problem, I usually don't know what to say anymore; it's just a weird thing to try and wrap my mind around, that not everyone I know/love is on the same continent or in the same facets of my life. But! Most of all the reason you should wait to Skype family when you're sick until you're lucid is it can be very hard on everyone. Seeing the people who usually fix you up helpless to do anything is hard, and wanting to mother a sick person and make everything better when you're an ocean away is the worst kind of torture.
So, some words of advice if you're Skyping with a homesick and real-sick child:
Being sick is sucky in it's own right, and I don't want to make it seem like exchange students have the hardest lives in the world and everything is ten times worse for us because we're kind of super privileged, but it is a little worse to be sick when you're not around the people who usually take care of you. It was worse to be sick in the beginning--at least for me--because I wasn't accustomed to anything about my new life. Also I'm fairly sure my illness was mostly, if not entirely, homesickness. All I wanted was a Lord of the Rings marathon, some saltines, and some ginger ale. What I ended up with was TLC, vanilla biscuits, and Neo Citran (sidenote: Neo Citran is a "tea" comprised almost entirely of citrus flavored sugar which "cures" you with a sugar rush). After being sick a couple times here, I still miss ginger ale and puppy snuggles, but I think I'm going to miss my heating pad and fruit tea even more when I go back to the US.
Each time I'm bedridden, the second day is hardest. I have the usual cabin fever and boredom, but even worse is the constant struggle not to Skype my family. Not that Skyping your family is bad! There are just a few things to consider first in a sickly situation. First of all, it's probably like, 2 AM when you're trying to call them, so look at the time difference before you try. Secondly, and this may just be my problem, I usually don't know what to say anymore; it's just a weird thing to try and wrap my mind around, that not everyone I know/love is on the same continent or in the same facets of my life. But! Most of all the reason you should wait to Skype family when you're sick until you're lucid is it can be very hard on everyone. Seeing the people who usually fix you up helpless to do anything is hard, and wanting to mother a sick person and make everything better when you're an ocean away is the worst kind of torture.
So, some words of advice if you're Skyping with a homesick and real-sick child:
- Remember they are vulnerable. I know exchange students often show incredible inner strength striking out on their own, but when you're sick and tired and are freaking out about how you can barely speak your mother tongue anymore, there's certain things you can't deal with.
- Things like family exacerbating your homesickness! No matter what the situation is and no matter how much you want to care for your child, you can not tell them:
- "I wish you were here so I could take care of you!"
- "Just come home so you stop getting sick!"
- "It's so hard for me to see you this way and not be able to do anything about it!"
- Mostly just don't make your child feel bad for leaving you. You agreed to let go of your child the moment you signed the forms and bought their plane ticket. Making them feel guilty for that decision is awful and makes your child feel bad and possibly cry. Then their exchange friends have to put them back together. They have the flu; it will pass.
- Throw in some orders to take vitamins. Maybe if they hear it enough they'll actually do it.
As you can see, most of my advice follows the same idea. This is only because I've seen it--I am seeing it--ruin exchange years. Guilt is a powerful emotion, one that is already abundant in the exchange community. After all, we've been actively leaving behind mother tongues, family ties, and home cultures for months. The last thing anyone needs in such a emotionally tumultuous situation is the people who originally condoned the situation to express regret and to pressure them into feeling the same. I know it must be hard to see your child in poor health, but bear in mind that your comments carry extra weight for them. What you say will stick with them for weeks, even months, at a time. If you're on the same Skype schedule as me and my family, you have precious few moments to talk. These moments are ones we as exchange students carry with us, a sort of life line, until the next time we talk to you. Don't waste them on worrying, and don't waste them on useless, destructive comments.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
201
Today is my 201st day in Hungary. I would have posted a great 'I've been here for 200 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' post yesterday, but I didn't think to check how long I've been here until all of my exchange student friends started posting about it. Oops? I did a big emotional post not too long ago, so I think it's a bit too soon to get weepy again.
That being said, I still pretty much feel the same :)
It's kind of like being a senior all over again; you don't really know what the homework is, everyone is getting super nostalgic, and I know I'm excited for no identifiable reason. Also, did anybody else get that feeling in their last couple months of highschool, like time is standing still but suddenly another week has gone by? And you really want the school year to be over and to get to graduation but also you can't imagine your big cliche high school experience being over and you're sure you're going to trip and face-plant walking across the stage?
I don't know, I kinda feel like that. Except I'm gonna trip at the airport trying to run to my parents with two luggages and a carry on instead of while accepting my diploma. The TSA will have no idea that I am in fact bring a dangerous weapon into the country. That weapon is me. My body is the weapon.It is dangerous. I am eager. And clumsy. So is my writing style. You get the picture.
~Sorry for the lack of a coherent and thought provoking post! I have a lot on my plate with this big presentation coming up, and there's influenza outbreaks left and right. It's hard to stay on a sleep schedule when after you've been sick and sleeping at odd hours for a couple days.
That being said, I still pretty much feel the same :)
It's kind of like being a senior all over again; you don't really know what the homework is, everyone is getting super nostalgic, and I know I'm excited for no identifiable reason. Also, did anybody else get that feeling in their last couple months of highschool, like time is standing still but suddenly another week has gone by? And you really want the school year to be over and to get to graduation but also you can't imagine your big cliche high school experience being over and you're sure you're going to trip and face-plant walking across the stage?
I don't know, I kinda feel like that. Except I'm gonna trip at the airport trying to run to my parents with two luggages and a carry on instead of while accepting my diploma. The TSA will have no idea that I am in fact bring a dangerous weapon into the country. That weapon is me. My body is the weapon.It is dangerous. I am eager. And clumsy. So is my writing style. You get the picture.
~Sorry for the lack of a coherent and thought provoking post! I have a lot on my plate with this big presentation coming up, and there's influenza outbreaks left and right. It's hard to stay on a sleep schedule when after you've been sick and sleeping at odd hours for a couple days.
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Return Flights Are Like Good Chocolate, Bitter But Sweet
Coming back home to Debrecen after Rotary events is usually great; I'm so happy to sleep in my own bed, see my school friends, and eat Eva's cooking. But coming back from language camp wasn't that way at all.
Language camp ended about a week ago. This time around everyone was sick, but we were all so so happy. I love my Hungarian friends, but they can't fully get your experience like a community of exchange students can, and after a long couple months nothing beats kicking back with some homies from your home country.
Even though camp was great, I was still excited to get back home. It was really bittersweet and awkward though. As we were boarding the bus to the train station after our last breakfast together, we all kind of realized that we had passed one of the major benchmarks. It was always in the back of my mind, and I'm sure many of the other exchange students' minds, that the second language camp meant we would have to leave soon. I guess it just always seemed like it was part of the distant future, like graduation or filling out job applications. You know it'll happen someday, but today is just never the day until suddenly it is.
When you arrive in your host country the timeline is usually something like: get adjusted to school and family, make it to the travel ban, and get through Christmas. That's all I could think about. Now I'm done with camp, we all realized the only milestone left is Euro Tour in May. Then we have to leave. Where did the time go! I only have four-ish months till I'm back in the States. Talking about this with my friends at camp made me--and I'm sure many other people--feel super weird. I can only describe the feeling as homesickness. I know, homesickness is normal and expected. There's really nothing weird about it. The weird thing is that I don't really know what--or where--I'm homesick for.
It's no news to me that I've become really attached to my Hungarian life. The difficult thing is that my Hungarian life and my States life are different. Just the other week my friends and I were talking about how we've been having weird dreams. Things like our biological families speaking our host language, or our host families being in our houses in our home countries. And it's not just a one time one student thing. I have polled a lot of my exchange friends, and it turns out a lot of people are having dreams reconciling parts of their lives from both countries almost every night. I don't think it's a coincidence.
Talking about our dreams took a turn for the dramatic when we realized that we couldn't remember a lot of things about our host countries (sidenote: it might have just been my fault, I have mentioned it first and incited slight hysteria). Some of it was just little things: the directions to our high school, what we usually ate for dinner, the Netflix password...
But, there are also huge things that have been forgotten. Personally, I feel really guilty about it. I realized I've kind of forgotten what people look like or sound like. For example, I was trying to describe Erick to someone the other day, but ended up having to look up a picture to show them (sidenote: sorry baby brother, you know I love you). It's not like I couldn't recognize them if I saw them on the street, but it's still nerve wracking to know you only have a general idea of what the people you've lived with for seventeen years look like. Eventually the guilt builds up and you start to feel a little homesick, at least I have been, which I think is a natural response. When you feel bad about something you tend to obsess over it.
There's really no kind way to say it, but I kind of forget sometimes that I have a life outside of Hungary. I've been so content over the last six months (sidenote: yikes) that time passed and I didn't really remember I had stuff to do and people to keep in touch with in the States. Sometimes it feels like I only message my parents when something goes wrong or I need help. (sidenote: and I'm really sorry for that you guys. It's not on a purpose I promise). But, ever since I got my return flight information during camp, it's all I can think about. I'll leave from Budapest at 5:30 in the morning I think, and arrive in the States at 6:00 pm the same day. I'm so excited to go back, and I feel like I could leave this second. I also cannot believe it's really happening.
On June 28th I'm going to leave my family. On June 28th I'm also going to return to my family.
And, I'm sure the second I get back it's going to feel like all of this was one big dream. I'm already having a hard time believing I got this lucky.
(sidenote: I just wanted to end this blog post with puszi for everyone that I haven't kept up with. I said it wouldn't happen, but it did and I'm sorry. My affection for everyone in the States has not diminished though, and I promise to break out my mad Hungarian cooking skills and catch up with you the moment I'm back :) )
Language camp ended about a week ago. This time around everyone was sick, but we were all so so happy. I love my Hungarian friends, but they can't fully get your experience like a community of exchange students can, and after a long couple months nothing beats kicking back with some homies from your home country.
Even though camp was great, I was still excited to get back home. It was really bittersweet and awkward though. As we were boarding the bus to the train station after our last breakfast together, we all kind of realized that we had passed one of the major benchmarks. It was always in the back of my mind, and I'm sure many of the other exchange students' minds, that the second language camp meant we would have to leave soon. I guess it just always seemed like it was part of the distant future, like graduation or filling out job applications. You know it'll happen someday, but today is just never the day until suddenly it is.
When you arrive in your host country the timeline is usually something like: get adjusted to school and family, make it to the travel ban, and get through Christmas. That's all I could think about. Now I'm done with camp, we all realized the only milestone left is Euro Tour in May. Then we have to leave. Where did the time go! I only have four-ish months till I'm back in the States. Talking about this with my friends at camp made me--and I'm sure many other people--feel super weird. I can only describe the feeling as homesickness. I know, homesickness is normal and expected. There's really nothing weird about it. The weird thing is that I don't really know what--or where--I'm homesick for.
It's no news to me that I've become really attached to my Hungarian life. The difficult thing is that my Hungarian life and my States life are different. Just the other week my friends and I were talking about how we've been having weird dreams. Things like our biological families speaking our host language, or our host families being in our houses in our home countries. And it's not just a one time one student thing. I have polled a lot of my exchange friends, and it turns out a lot of people are having dreams reconciling parts of their lives from both countries almost every night. I don't think it's a coincidence.
Talking about our dreams took a turn for the dramatic when we realized that we couldn't remember a lot of things about our host countries (sidenote: it might have just been my fault, I have mentioned it first and incited slight hysteria). Some of it was just little things: the directions to our high school, what we usually ate for dinner, the Netflix password...
But, there are also huge things that have been forgotten. Personally, I feel really guilty about it. I realized I've kind of forgotten what people look like or sound like. For example, I was trying to describe Erick to someone the other day, but ended up having to look up a picture to show them (sidenote: sorry baby brother, you know I love you). It's not like I couldn't recognize them if I saw them on the street, but it's still nerve wracking to know you only have a general idea of what the people you've lived with for seventeen years look like. Eventually the guilt builds up and you start to feel a little homesick, at least I have been, which I think is a natural response. When you feel bad about something you tend to obsess over it.
There's really no kind way to say it, but I kind of forget sometimes that I have a life outside of Hungary. I've been so content over the last six months (sidenote: yikes) that time passed and I didn't really remember I had stuff to do and people to keep in touch with in the States. Sometimes it feels like I only message my parents when something goes wrong or I need help. (sidenote: and I'm really sorry for that you guys. It's not on a purpose I promise). But, ever since I got my return flight information during camp, it's all I can think about. I'll leave from Budapest at 5:30 in the morning I think, and arrive in the States at 6:00 pm the same day. I'm so excited to go back, and I feel like I could leave this second. I also cannot believe it's really happening.
On June 28th I'm going to leave my family. On June 28th I'm also going to return to my family.
And, I'm sure the second I get back it's going to feel like all of this was one big dream. I'm already having a hard time believing I got this lucky.
(sidenote: I just wanted to end this blog post with puszi for everyone that I haven't kept up with. I said it wouldn't happen, but it did and I'm sorry. My affection for everyone in the States has not diminished though, and I promise to break out my mad Hungarian cooking skills and catch up with you the moment I'm back :) )
Friday, February 13, 2015
And this little exchanger had roast pork...
If you're squeamish or are triggered by blood and stuff, I would stop reading. We took a bunch of photos and I want to post them, but I don't want anyone to faint or anything. Overall the Hungarians were really impressed by how un-prissy we were. In one of the photos we're holding hooves we just drank palinka out of, and they said they didn't junk they could get normal teens to do that.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
No Choking...While Speaking To Strangers
On Sunday, I was riding the train back from Budapest by myself. Not gonna lie, I was kind of extremely nervous. Riding to Budapest is a piece of cake; the main station, Nyugati, is the last stop. There's no where for the train to go after it so you have to get off. Riding back to Debrecen though, is a little harder. My stop is called Nagyallomas. Every stop is called Nagyallomas. Nagyallomas means Big Train Station. Lucky for me though, Debrecen is a college town (actually really similar to Chambana! It's almost like I never left home, just everyone started speaking a different language) so when we hit my stop there's a massive exodus. So, all in all, the train is not so bad.
Anyway, this trip was special! Or, maybe more awkward but cool. Like everywhere else, there are ticket inspectors on the train in Hungary. They look at your student card and your ticket to make sure you are meant to have the student discount, make sure you got on the Inter-City instead of the plain train, etc. Also like everywhere else, there's mistakes and people who don't want to pay. It used to be you could get out of an inspector snafu by speaking English. Unfortunately for the sneaky people of the world, inspectors are getting smart and learning, or bringing translators with them. In cases where they don't bring English speaking buddies with them, they recruit from the pool of passengers.
Guess who finally got recruited.
I didn't have to sign up on a website or make a skill tape or anything!
The ticket inspector knew I spoke English because I have a weird student card and had to tell him I'm an exchange student. When he got to a college student that didn't speak Hungarian, he asked a couple people near him to help, then came up the aisle towards me. I tried in vain to pretend I was engrossed in Wuthering Heights instead of gawking at the pair like the rest of the train.
Of course I told him I'd try to help, but I don't speak the best Hungarian. It was a pretty easy translation to be honest:
"Ma'am you're on the wrong train. This one costs more."
"No I will not pay it is their mistake not mine."
"O nem akkar penz"
"Ez 800ft tobb"
"It's 800ft more. It's not so much. You should just pay."
"No! I am a student, money does not grow on the trees. I will not pay"
"O nem akkar penz"
etc.
etc.
etc.
Now, I'm noticing that I said she doesn't want money instead of she doesn't want to pay, which might explain the weird look on the guy's face. Mostly it was like, ten minutes of 'you must pay' 'I won't pay' "she won't pay' 'she has to' Even though I messed up most of it, I was super proud at the time, and I still am. After a long day, or if I've been switching between all day, it's difficult to get anything out. But, now I can say I was able to help translate between people, so ha! I'm making progress, even if it's taking kind of an oblong, crooked path.
Anyway, this trip was special! Or, maybe more awkward but cool. Like everywhere else, there are ticket inspectors on the train in Hungary. They look at your student card and your ticket to make sure you are meant to have the student discount, make sure you got on the Inter-City instead of the plain train, etc. Also like everywhere else, there's mistakes and people who don't want to pay. It used to be you could get out of an inspector snafu by speaking English. Unfortunately for the sneaky people of the world, inspectors are getting smart and learning, or bringing translators with them. In cases where they don't bring English speaking buddies with them, they recruit from the pool of passengers.
Guess who finally got recruited.
I didn't have to sign up on a website or make a skill tape or anything!
The ticket inspector knew I spoke English because I have a weird student card and had to tell him I'm an exchange student. When he got to a college student that didn't speak Hungarian, he asked a couple people near him to help, then came up the aisle towards me. I tried in vain to pretend I was engrossed in Wuthering Heights instead of gawking at the pair like the rest of the train.
Of course I told him I'd try to help, but I don't speak the best Hungarian. It was a pretty easy translation to be honest:
"Ma'am you're on the wrong train. This one costs more."
"No I will not pay it is their mistake not mine."
"O nem akkar penz"
"Ez 800ft tobb"
"It's 800ft more. It's not so much. You should just pay."
"No! I am a student, money does not grow on the trees. I will not pay"
"O nem akkar penz"
etc.
etc.
etc.
Now, I'm noticing that I said she doesn't want money instead of she doesn't want to pay, which might explain the weird look on the guy's face. Mostly it was like, ten minutes of 'you must pay' 'I won't pay' "she won't pay' 'she has to' Even though I messed up most of it, I was super proud at the time, and I still am. After a long day, or if I've been switching between all day, it's difficult to get anything out. But, now I can say I was able to help translate between people, so ha! I'm making progress, even if it's taking kind of an oblong, crooked path.
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