The Gender Binary Makes Me Stress Eat Cocoa Puffs

I yelled at a teacher today. 

I've never yelled at a teacher before.

I'm a goody two shoes most of the time, a fact none of my friends would really dispute. But, in English class we have been talking about "Gender, Sex, and Sexuality" and some of our illustrations of the Kinsey scale and other models of gender/sexuality gradients were left on the board today when another teacher came in. He's an American, but he has been in Hungary for a number of years. His viewpoint has not benefited from travel. He is narrow minded, and what is worse, he forces his opinions on students who have no way of knowing not all Americans see the world the way he does. 

He tried to tell us being trans is a choice. 

It is one thing for a teacher to give lessons with a bias. We've all been taught by someone whose political views are obvious from the way they phrase their lessons. It is another thing entirely to pursue incendiary topics that could polarize the learning environment and back questioning kids into emotional corners. 

As I have been taught, or rather shown by example through the years, educators are responsible for providing a safe place to learn. The classroom is a place to accept knew knowledge, to explore new ideas and one's own beliefs, and this introspection cannot occur if you yell at your students that they are wrong. 

Here is a list of terms and definitions for those of you reading whom are not familiar with the LGBTQ community. No matter what sexuality or gender you identify as, it is important to know that people don't just wake up and arbitrarily decide "what" they are. Coming out as anything isn't something you do for giggles. My teacher, upon me explaining this, said 'Well, I think I'm Mrs. ----- today.' He was obviously joking, trying to make a point. But, a part of me--and I would say a small part of me but that would be a lie--considered addressing him as Mrs. ----- for the rest of year. For a short time I'm sure he would accept it, not wanting to give me the satisfaction of a reaction. But, after months, or even the rest of the school year, of being addressed with his wrong pronouns he would probably become distressed. This is understandable! This is also my point. Denying trans individuals their desired pronouns in favor of what you want to call them is disrespectful, discouraging, and overall dangerous to their mental well-being. It is difficult enough to transition and/or be comfortable in your body with the gender-binary in place without jerks coming around and invalidating your life choices. 

Whether you agree with a person's identification or not is not their problem. It's something you need to deal with on your own. No one confronts you on the street about why your eyes are brown, or why you color your hair when "God-didn't-mean-for-you-to-have-highlights" or why you are 5'8" instead of 5'10". No one questions you about this because these are normal parts of you. All of these things are expressions of yourself that you either couldn't change even if you wanted to, or have changed and everyone has accepted. A trans person's identity is not something they "picked" willy nilly, or without consideration. It's a fundamental, natural, part of them; a constant that they shouldn't have to justify. After all, cis-gendered individuals do not have to "prove" that their gender matches the sex they were born as. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry if this isn't the most well written post. I've been having enough trouble separating grammar and languages without coming down from an adrenaline rush (sidenote: I forgot that your muscles hurt after adrenaline. I feel like I just did an ab workout.) If anyone has any corrections, like wrong terms or clarifications that would be helpful, please mention them because I don't have a lot of experience being a trans person as I am cis-gendered! 

Also, shout-out to all my classmates who dealt with a halfway She-Hulk Brigi today and weren't mad that I pursued the topic! Sorry you had to deal with that, but I can't say I'm sorry I lead the class astray. Szeretlek!